Sunday, November 16, 2008

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE WOMAN IN THE MIRROR

Over the past week I have heard about comments coming from sisters in our communities and around the world about Michelle Obama being tired and unattractive. Their two cent opinions honestly don't account for much, but have intrigued me nonetheless. Interestingly, I was not surprised to hear that there are actually sisters out there hating on her. It's so typical of insecure and unhappy women to tear other women down. Apparently, she doesn’t measure up to their standards of who they think Barak Obama should have chosen as a wife thus our new first lady. One interesting comment that I've heard is that I hope she does something. As if to suggest that she is some uneducated, unmotivated chick that sits around on the couch with a robe, slippers and pink sponge rollers in her hair watching soap operas, eating bon bon's and giving Barak baby mama drama when he gets home at night. Or how about the comment that Obama is a good looking man, why did he pick her? Well I say tell me what perfect beauty looks like? Does it look like you? Let me just say GET REAL! Contrary to what you may have heard or fantasized about, chicken heads don't end up with lawyers, senators, or presidents, at least not in public.
Barak Obama is no dummy and wouldn’t pick a dummy to marry and spend the rest of his life with. Michelle Obama is a graduate of Princeton University and Harvard Law School. She was already practicing law with the firm Sidley Austin when Barak came there as an intern. She was assigned the task of being his mentor, and if I must say, she taught him well. During their 16 years of marriage, and up until they decided that he would run for the presidency she maintained a full time career while birthing and raising their 2 beautiful daughters. She played an intricate part in the election where she toured around the country almost daily during the campaign, and gave speeches just as aggressively as Barak Obama himself. Who could forget the dynamic speech that she presented at the democratic convention on behalf of her husband. She has his back and he knows it.
A wise woman knows that the way to a man's heart has nothing to do with what a woman looks like on the outside, but has everything to do with the content of her heart, who she is on the inside. Even the blind can see that he adores his wife and recognizes her inner and outer beauty. I believe that if Michelle suddenly grew and a horn in the center of her forehead, it would not alter the love he has for her. I'm sure that when she wraps her 5ft 11in legs around his back at night there is no place he would rather be. Barak made it perfectly clear that he knows where his strength lies when he publicly stated during his speech the night he became the new president elect that he could not have done this without his best friend and the love of his life Michelle Obama. So in the grand scheme of things your negative opinions matter not. In case you hadn't heard, next to every great man is a SUPERWOMAN. Ask President Obama.

Michelle Obama is beautiful and represents just one of the many varieties of women of color all over the world. Unfortunately, women of color and especially black women are the underdogs when it comes to standards of beauty in the west (even though I know that we are secretly the envy of other women). The media and has done enough to tear down Michelle Obama, and rest assured that there is a lot more to come. It is more important now for women of color more than in any other time in history to uplift and support Michelle because she is in the spotlight of the entire world. She now has the platform by which to represent not only African American women, but women of color all over the world. This is not the time to tear her down, but a time to help her shine so that we too can shine. Even more importantly, she is due our respect simply because she has committed to supporting her husband by altering her entire life so that we people of color can have a magnificent and powerful example of ourselves through Barak Obama. Please don’t ever forget that fact.

It's time to stop these attacks and clean up the unconscious often denied low self esteem that we carry as women of color. It's time to improve our lives and stop silently resenting Michelle's or any other woman's accomplishments just because it puts us on front street and renders us excuseless to the achievement of our own personal goals and dreams, and the responsibility to live up to the standards of womanhood and excellence that flows abundantly through our DNA.

My belief is that as a whole, we suffer from severe low self esteem, not only from our own personal experiences, but the collective past and present pain of women all over the world. It’s the fuel that divides us as women and keeps us from living up to our full potential. We are at a pivotal time in our history that calls us to stop the female to female divisions because when we tear down other women, we tear down ourselves, it’s time for change.

It is said that when a woman is uplifted, happy and experiencing joy and fulfillment, everyone around her benefits. We are the glue in the universe that bonds everything together. With so many women out of whack the whole world is out of whack. It's time for us as women to take care of ourselves, to stop simply existing and start living. It's time to learn to listen to our inner guides, she has so much to reveal to you. It's time to deal with our childhood issues and release the past. It’s time to stop all this bitchy, back stabbing, cat fighting, I’m gonna take your man hating on one another behavior. It's time for us to delete men from our lives and our beds who bring us anything other than truth, honesty, and good loving. It's time for us to discover and follow our passions so that we can become spiritually, physically and financially wealthy. It’s time recognize that we all possess unique beauty, power and strength and that together we could do marvelous things to help improve our lives, and the lives of women all over the world? I believe that by building up our self esteem and learning what it truly means to love ourselves, we will understand and know that we are worthy of only the best in life. Most importantly, by truly loving ourselves I know that we will learn to love and respect one another.

But despite all of the things we must overcome, when I look beyond the tough exterior guard that many of us shield ourselves with, I see the most loving supportive women on the planet. When the chips fall down we have each other’s backs. We have survived through trials and tribulations like none other and to this day continue to walk through the negativity of the media, the music industry and the negative treatment of men right in our own communities. I can see the love and support that we give each other in times of need. I know that what really lies beneath all the drama is a deep bond between us all that is only hidden behind years of pain, trials and tribulation, the stuff that we have allowed to affect us and define our lives thus far.
But let’s keep it real, no matter what, we are the best weave wearing, shoe strutting, body banging, fashion coordinating, false nail and false eyelash wearing, makeup apply, good food cooking, hardest working, taking care of our children, running the household, shit tolerating, standing by our men, being there for family and friends, making something out of nothing divas on the planet. We are powerful! We can do anything we put our minds to.

Several years ago I began to take responsibility for myself and the lack of fulfillment in my own life. Hearing that we should love ourselves and understanding how to do it are two totally different things. I discovered that learning to love one’s self and being comfortable in your own skin is a very interesting journey, one that I have come a long way on and still have a ways to go. I also discovered that I have a profound inner nudging to help women improve their self esteem and I have a whole lot of life experiences in which to do so. What most would consider as negative experiences, I have embraced as beautiful lessons and I am extremely grateful for the challenges that have brought me to such a magnificent place in my life, and that place expands and grows every day.

My mission with this blog is to simply plant seeds and techniques through my writing by which women can begin to transform their own lives and connect with other women and participate in a positive platform and environment in which they can ask questions, share experiences, opinions, ideas, and success stories. I don't deal in the phony fairytale Hollywood versions of life; this blog is about everyday real life subjects. I love to have fun and make people laugh while I expose the drama. Warning to sensitive people-Beware! I rarely bite my tongue; I tell it like it is.
If you have ever heard of the concept paying it forward, then I'm sure you understand what I mean when I say that if I can help one woman who helps another, who helps another and so forth, my work will not be in vain. Well, I'm asking that if you have enjoyed reading my article and if anything that you have read here has inspired you to want to improve your life or help me help others, please go ahead and forward this email or a link to my blog address to as many women as you can think of. If you are not on my email list and this was forwarded to you by someone else, email me at talk2necey@gmail.com leave me your email address and ask me to add you to my blog contact list so that you can be notified each time this blog is updated. I'm thanking you in advance for your support, and letting you know that my heart over flows with gratitude from your kindness.

YOUR COMMENTS AND OPINONS ARE REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME!!!!! Please register and get a free account with Google and blogger so that you can leave me your comments and tell me what you think about the negative comments about Michelle Obama and women taking this particular time in history to begin a revolution that focuses on women uniting and improving their lives.

I look forward to chatting with you all and remember –
You are beautiful, fabulous and worthy of the very best in life!
Much Love - Necey

6 comments:

Naturally Diane said...

Great article! When will women, especially sisters, understand that the first sign of immaturity and insecurity is to attack another based on the superficial. President elect Obama could never entertain the idea of embracing or connecting with women with such mundane views about life and people. And if you examine closely, the women who are attacking Michelle have never reached out to their own potential and have settled for less. That's why they attack. It's their "pain body" speaking.

Continue to shed the light on topics that need to be hardline addressed.

Proud of your work sis.
Diane of Detroit

Necey said...

Exactly Diane. A change is definately needed. Its time for women to stop settling for less.

T. Monique said...

First of all, I admire Michelle Obama. Awesome woman she is. She gave her husband permission to become our first African American President! I said it. I know, you know, and Barack knows it wasn't happening without her.

Haters beware. Your ugly, negative energy will return a wrath apon you, if you don't stop.

Second, when I hear other women say they don't have other females friends,only male friends, I become suspicious of them. They may cite all kinds of reasons. But really, do you truly believe you are the best female God/the World has to offer? You are responsible for who you are attracting into your life? I'd suspect, too, that the male friends are slimey. But many women are needy of male attention and act like male crap smells like Old Spice. It ain't "swagger". It's s**t!!! Trust me men can have drama, too.

Lastly, I love Barack, too. However, there is nothing like Barack and Michelle. They are a dynamic couple. Heathcliffe and Claire have come to the White House! Hum-m-m two lawyers, instead or a lawyer and a doctor. Works for me.

May peace be in your minds, bodies, and spirits.

Terra

Tovia said...

Loved the article, haters are out there and will always be there. What I do hope for is a stronger sense of unity and pride among our people. For women to down Michelle is sad. What if he had chosen a wife of a different background or someone who did nothing else besides be a housewife? What would be said then? If she were a different woman there would still be haters, but like Diane of Detroit said these women need to look within, and search for their own true potential. The Obama's have broken the glass ceiling for so many people and I will forever be thankful to them for that. When will people stop being haters and become congratulators?

Necey said...

Tovia thank you very much for your comment. Its wonderful to know that so many of us are united. You are right what if Michelle or any other woman chooses to do nothing else other then be a house wife and raise children, I say that she still has the most important job on the planet which is maintaining a stable home environment and raisng children to become balance and healthy individuals.

necey said...

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